Excuses Excuses

Just so that we’re all up-to-date, here are some of the epic head-tapes I have been repeating to myself over the last 2.5 years.  These, coupled with food consumption reaching dizzying heights, have resulted in me being fat, basically.  Sadly, in my reality, not a great place to be:

• My mother and sister are overweight.  It is my destiny.
• Over-eating is my only coping mechanism.  I need food to get by in life.
• I had a difficult pregnancy. (Any number of sub-clauses to fit in here… so I have the perfect excuse to let myself go;  my physiology has changed and I can no longer lose weight… you get the idea).
• I am older than the average new Mum.  That’s why I am heavier than the rest…
• Diets are bad.  I have no alternative for losing weight.
• My mother loads us down with unhealthy food on a regular basis.  It’s her fault.

Am I alone here?   I suppose I'm asking for help and support really.

 

 

The Shame

I’ll be honest with you; life is a roller-coaster.  What an absolute thrill it is to enter the world of motherhood.  Boy, don’t you know you’re living?  Haven’t you felt love like no other?  Isn’t it all just an absolute honour and wonder?  A resounding YES, damn right, is my answer to all of the above.

And with that ultimate high, my deepest trough is the endless suffering caused purely by my weight gain. As superficial, uncool and trivial as that sounds, it is there, my friends, and I encourage myself to suffer shame at a very deep level on a daily basis.